Heaps EnGayged: Anna and Bec
By Isabella Cornell
We loveeeee love, so with a little help from our friends at the Australian Marriage Equality Campaign, we’re catching up with some beaut couples about their loves and how equality would affect them and the community- Stay tuned! And if you want us to feature you, send us an email, firstname.lastname@example.org.
Meet Anna & and her lovely partner Bec!
How did you meet?
I was a 19 year old teenager, setting off overseas for 6 weeks of travel. I spent the first two weeks in NYC where I met up with a boy I had been seeing, who had relocated to study in the states. The time went well, and I flew to Rome to travel around Europe while he went to Canada with some friends.
I met Bec on a contiki tour. She was the fun, care free, energetic “class clown” of the group. She was originally from Melbourne but had sold everything to move to London for work and travel.
We hit it off immediately and there was something about her that intrigued me. I had never been in a relationship with a girl before but hadn’t ruled it out. She was openly gay.
On the third night of the tour, after one too many wines, I told her I had wanted to kiss her all day. We had our first kiss in a seedy Italian club, surrounded by tourists and greasy locals.
The tour ended and things were tough. We decided to meet up in Paris later on to see how things went. Bec’s job in London fell through. The 5 days we spent in Paris were amazing. She decided to move back to Melbourne to be with me.
4.5 years later, we live in a two bedroom townhouse with two cats, a puppy, three goldfish and plans to be together forever.
Why is marriage important to you?
Marriage is a fundamental human right. I truly believe that sexuality is a spectrum, and that each individual is placed somewhere between “gay” & “straight”. This is determined at birth and in no way is a choice.
By not allowing same-sex marriage, it is telling a group of smart, fun, interesting people that their love and life is not worthy of recognition or support.
It is important to me because I value my partner, and I value all human beings and the love that they have with one another. Our love is just as strong, passionate, challenging and beautiful as any heterosexual couple, which is something that should be valued and recognised.
Has it always been important for you?
Even before I met Bec, same-sex marriage has always been on my radar and has always been something I advocated for. I was raised in a household whereby my parents were open minded, accepting and supportive. I was brought up to accept all others as equals regardless of their circumstances. Because of this, it has always been difficult for me to understand why a progressive country like Australia can be so offensively backward on an issue such as this.
How does not being able to get married make you feel?
I can’t even begin to describe the hurt and pain it causes me. My whole life, marriage has been something I planned on celebrating surrounded by my family and friends. Something I have been mentally planning since I was a kid.
Although I am proud of and support all of the people close to me who have been wed, there’s always a part of me thinking, “why can’t we do that? What makes us unworthy of this special moment?”
People often say to me, “it’ll happen! Don’t worry, it’ll happen!” But, when?
Have you ever been in a situation where not being married has made things more difficult for you?
So far we haven’t run into any terrible situations. The only thing I find very interesting about the government is: Bec and I are both Victorian students and received an allowance from Centrelink to help out. Centrelink deemed us as “de facto” because we have lived and loved as a couple for over 4 years. Because of this, they are permitted to pay us less as we are a couple.
It’s all very interesting – the government are happy to take money away from us, yet fail to recognise us as our heterosexual counterparts.
If you could get married today what would you do?
Bec and I aren’t in a financial position to get married just yet. There’s still plenty of things we wish to achieve before that day comes. Such as travel, work and hopefully buying a house.
Engagement would definitely be on the cards in the next year or so. I refuse to do so until the law changes though.
What traditions do you plan to stick with when you do get married?
There won’t be a hint of religion at our wedding, as the Catholic Church still fail to recognise our love, even though we were both raised catholic.
As far as the wedding goes, tradition will be minimal. We will both have bridesmaids/groomsmen however we please. We will have all of our closest family and friends together for a huge celebration. I’m unsure as to whether we will wear white, but it is definitely not something important to us.
What’s something fun you’ve done recently as a couple?
Every day is full of fun in our household. We still make each other laugh until we cry. We go on adventures whenever we can. We have been interstate several times for holidays and to visit friends and family. We have been overseas to Asia together, and created so many incredible memories.
The best thing we have done recently is adopting our puppy Kevin the border collie. He’s fluffy, smart and happy, and shares the same love of life that we both do!
This interview was in collaboration with our friends at the Australian Marriage Equality Campaign.
To find out more about their work, visit their website here.